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You
are reading Part 2:
The First Vision Quest
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PREVIOUSLY: "There might be fighting. I don't
think you want that type of excitement." Kicking Horse turned and
ran off to catch up with Gray Eagle while I stood there, furious that
I was not allowed to go along.
Last Season of Ripe Berries, before Gray Eagle was
chief, he would have let me come. When we were children, he had
let me accompany him and Kicking Horse on nearly all their adventures.
He had taught me how to throw a knife, shoot a bow, and ride a horse.
My parents had gotten ill during the previous Season of Howling Wind
and left us for the Land of Shadows. Since then I had taken on all of
the duties of gathering and preparing food, and keeping camp. I was sixteen
summers and old enough to make a tepee of my own. I was sure that Kicking
Horse would have already asked for me if I was not still in mourning for
my parents.
Unable to accompany Gray Eagle and Kicking Horse, I washed the roots I
had gathered in the river, then walked back to our campsite. I fed pine
needles into the smoldering coals and as they caught on fire the smell
of burning pine rose up. Grandfather came over and crouched down near
me as I put the roots and some water in a kotea paunch that hung over
the fire from a three-legged, wooden frame. He was an old man with wrinkled,
leather-like skin and long, white hair. His eyes were clear and filled
with wisdom and he seemed to always know everything before I had told
him. He took out a pipe and put kinnikinnick and willow bark in it and
began to smoke. I wanted to talk to him, but out of respect for his age
and wisdom, I waited for him to speak first.
As I stared into the flames, my thoughts turned to when I was seven summers.
Gray Eagle was going on his first Vision Quest to find his song, as all
boys of the people must do to become warriors. He was being taught and
guided by Grandfather to be the Head Chief some day. Father was currently
Head Chief, and although it was not an inherited position, the people
often picked the Head Chief's son if he showed courage and wisdom, and
it was thought that he could guide the tribe.
I adored my brother and wanted to be like him, so I listened in rapt attention
whenever he told me of his conversations with Grandfather. I was frightened
and in awe of Grandfather for I could feel the power around him and around
the sacred things he kept for our village. He was quiet and contemplative
and he never played with me like father and Gray Eagle. When Gray Eagle
proudly told me that it was time for him to go on his first Vision Quest
something stirred deep within me. I wanted to know about the mysteries
of life. I wanted to find my song too, to know why I was so different
from other girls who were content to play with dolls and work alongside
their mothers.
I secretly loaded my pony with supplies and left camp. Even though I
was only a little girl at the time, I had decided to go on my first Vision
Quest. I was drawn to the Sacred Mountains, which were many Suns and Sleeps
from my village. There I fasted and prayed, seeking a vision. On the third
day a blue light appeared before me. When it drew closer I saw it was
a tall, strong-looking warrior, finely dressed in ceremonial clothes.
I was frightened but his smile was gentle and reassuring. He told me his
name was Oapiche, meaning big man, and that he was my Spirit Guide. When
I needed him I was to enter the inner silence where he would be waiting
for me. He showed me a grown woman who was full of wisdom and power and
told me that she was who I would become in this life. He said he would
help me become a medicine woman and guide me on my spiritual journey.
Intense joy filled my being for I felt as if Oapiche was an old friend.
Oapiche gave me a sacred sound that I was to sing when I was afraid or
needed his guidance. The song was Hu-nai-yiee. As I began to sing it,
I felt a greater love than I'd ever felt before.
I must have fallen asleep for the next thing I remember is being awaken
by someone saying my name. I opened my eyes and saw it was Grandfather.
He drew me into his arms and held me close. "A man came to me, Grandfather!"
I exclaimed. "He told I am to become a medicine woman."

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In a four-part interview, Heidi reveals the
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Willow's Quest as a ...
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His concerned look broke into serene, knowing smile. "Then we will
have to start your training." He handed me to Father and I threw
my arms around his neck and started to cry.
"You are safe now, little papoose, there is no reason to cry,"
Father said, standing up with me in his arms.
"I was afraid I would not be able to find my way back to our people."
"You have journeyed far. We have been tracking you for many days.
I was afraid a bear or mountain lion would find my little papoose before
I did."
"I am not a papoose any more."
"That is true. I see you have grown to be a big girl." He set
me on his large war-horse and gave me pemmican. I had started to eat it
when my attention was drawn by the sound of Grandfather's chanting. He
was standing in the center of the circle with his hands raised up to Father
Sky, singing his thanks to Apo, the Great Spirit, for protecting his grandchild
on her Vision Quest. He lay down a pipe in the circle as a gift. I was
amazed that he would give something of such great value.
"You are thinking of the past," Grandfather said, bringing me
back from my inner reverie to the present moment.
I smiled. "I was remembering my first Vision Quest."
He nodded. "You have always been strong willed. You will need that
strength for this next quest. You must leave tomorrow on your Vision Quest
despite having seen the Blackfeet war party."
I nodded. "I know. I hear the call of spirit like the beating of
drums. It's growing louder in my dreams."
"Your path is special and soon the people will need you," he
said, lifting up a leather pouch and handing it to me. "I have a
gift for you."
I felt the object's power as soon as grandfather placed the leather pouch
in my hand. I opened it and discovered an ancient, wooden flute inside.
The end was carved in the shape of a bird's head that had been painted
red and yellow. It had been my Grandmothers and I remembered the uplifting
songs she played on it. I looked at Grandfather and saw the sadness in
his eyes and knew he was also thinking of Grandmother. She had gone to
the Land of Shadows and we could not speak of her for it would disturb
her spirit. She was a wise, warm-hearted woman who had told me many stories
when I was young.
"This has special powers. When you play it, listen to its sound and
it will speak to you and guide you." He looked up at the sky. Following
his gaze, I saw an eagle flying high overhead. We watched the eagle for
a long time as it soared over the mountains, flying on invisible air currents.

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A passionate writer and storyteller, in radio
and television interviews Heidi Skarie has ...
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"The eagle is strong medicine and a good omen for your quest. Your
thoughts and visions should rise as high as the eagle." Grandfather
turned from the eagle and looked at me again with eyes that were clear
and focused. "We, the two-leggeds, share life with the wings of the
air, the four-leggeds, and all green plants. The sky is our father and
the earth our mother and all living things their children." He gave
me a warm smile and deep lines appeared in the corners of his eyes. "Try
playing the flute."
I put the flute to my lips and played a few notes as the sun sank behind
the mountains. "Listen to its sound with your heart, it will lead
you home to Apo," said Grandfather.
Grandfather and I ate, then I went into the tepee, which faced east so
the morning sun would always greet us when we awoke and went outside.
The tepee smelled of leather, dried roots, and sage, and was dark after
being outside. I stirred up the center fire to get it going again and
added more branches. Reflecting on my conversation with Grandfather, I
gazed at inner wall of the tepee, which had painted designs from the men
of our family's dreams and hunting exploits.
Read
part 3: "Only the world of Spirit is truly real"
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